Just when you thought Allstate’s commercials couldn’t get any worse.

Couple questions for everybody:

1) Why is the horribly abusive boyfriend a white guy? (They make sure we can see his Ted Bundy-ish profile popping up next to his abusive texts)
2) Why is his victim a black female? (Inconvenient fact: More than 70% of black/white relationships involve a black male and a white female, not the other way around)
3) Why does the white male driver absolutely not give a shit about protecting this damsel in distress and returning her purse? (You know the answer: white guys are cold-blooded and evil.)
4) How come none of the “good Samaritan” passengers are white guys?
5) Why is her “white knight” phone returner a black guy?

As a white male myself, I’m supposed to turn a blind eye to this sort of thing, but it’s getting old.

By releasing a 3-minute commercial (seriously, Bitch?), Allstate wants you to think they’re on some kind of moral crusading social justice kick. But why? Did they get a bunch of SJW blowback from the “mayhem” commercials? (which, being actually quite funny, may have triggered accusations of thought-crime). Or are they just trying to keep up with Progressive Insurance, whose commercials feature that plucky and irrepressible feminist “Flo” and her sidekick “Jamie”, the gender-fluid ginger eunuch.

If you’re a white guy, please stop hating yourself. Your media, government, and big business hate you already, so there’s nothing gained by your piling on. It doesn’t make you a better or more noble person for doing so, and it certainly won’t make them hate you any less.

And please, don’t buy Allstate Insurance.